ASSIGNMENTS:
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Sarrah
London, UK
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REPORTS:
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Advice to Sarrah Aged 17
Dear you,
1. You have done well up to now, but if you admit it, you know things could be better. You are always running away from things thinking it will turn out okay in the end, but we know that with every single social interaction you will become erased if you start off every relationship as though it should be drawing to a close.
2. Don't make friends with her. She will make you unhappy. She will tell you you shouldn't be with him and she will lie and smile. She will manipulate you and she will use you to get closer to him. Of course she will fail but you will never be the same again. You will be broken as a person and think everyone that comes after her will smile with the same intent. You will become insecure and you will lie and smile and it will break your heart.
3. Don't take the rejection from UCL to heart. Even though you should have got in there was no point giving up just because you thought you had second best. You should have realised that Bristol was the same, if not better and held your head up high.
4. Don't walk out the night you did. They are your family, you are supposed to fight. Learn to control your temper and realise when other people are under pressure. Calm down. You won't do as well at uni in your second year because of this and you wont return home for 10 months. In the next year you will have moved 4 times and spent a lot of money, only to break up with him three times, survive on sleeping pills, chain smoke until your lips are black and feel dizzy every time you see a passing car or a human being. You will think get scared every time you think she is coming round and you will think there is nothing wrong with committing suicide. You will think you are doing it to get close to him.
5. Go on that voluntary placement at Chealsea and Westminster Hospital Radio. You would have increased your confidence and made friends and not had to rely on others for friendship.
6. Realise that although the people you meet have been manipulative you must give other people a chance.
7. Don't rely too much on him. It will drain you and he won't change. I still don't know if he has. You will still be scared to tell him you love him and you will still wonder if this is the relationship. Don't think too much and just enjoy it. And remember, if he wants to be with you he will be with you. He loves you very much.
8. Don't lose contact with your Dad. Make an effort. I know you aren't very good at keeping in contact but some things are more urgent than others.
9. It's not regret that I am giving to you, but hope. Realise this now and things can change. I love you and I want you to be happy. You are not incapable of being happy.
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