ASSIGNMENTS:
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Sarah
Montreal, CANADA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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Advice to myself at the age of 20:
1. Every time you see your mom, tell her you love her. This is extremely important. You are just starting to like her as a person and understand her a little. She needs to hear this as much as you need to say it.
2. When you find out she is missing, don't think that she is off traveling and forgot to tell you guys. She is not. You know this. Go to your dad and spend time with him. You have no idea how hard those days must be for him. Don't pretend like everything is okay. It's not.
3. When the policeman come to your dad's house and tell you they have found your mom, believe him. Cry, grieve, do what ever you need to do, just believe that she really is dead.
4. Don't go away to Mexico. I know you have been planning this for a long long time, but don't go. You need to be home and with your family. You still haven't even absorbed the fact that your mom is dead. You will feel more alone on that beach than you have ever felt before and you will not be able to shake that feeling.
5. When you come back, don't feel so ashamed that you had too. Your mother committed suicide you are allowed to feel shitty. You are going to internalize all of this and make yourself very sick.
6. When you come back talk to someone. Anyone. Don't just stop talking to everyone. This will haunt you. Your mom's psychiatrist is nice, go talk to her before it gets bad.
7. Don't get back together with T. I know you don't know where else to go or what else to do, but getting back together with T. is not going to make your life go back to how it was six months ago. You broke up with him for reasons, remember those reasons.
8. If you ignore number 6, at least don't move it with him. He will only feed and allow your depression and tell you its okay. It's not okay; you don't have to feel this way.
9. Hug your dad more. He is all you have left now, and he is just as sad and lonely as you.
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