ASSIGNMENTS:
|
|
Genevieve Sage
Seattle, Washington USA
|
|
REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
|
|
Age 10:
When Mrs. Evil-Witch Conlee writes your name on the board as "Not Satisfactory" material for class president and makes Brown-Noser Elizabeth accompany you and tells the class you did bad things and don't deserve the win, stand up and say,
"Excuse me, Emma Conlee, this is a Democratic vote. I won fair and square and just because you're jealous that I am the pretty, smart and popular little girl YOU NEVER WERE does not mean you can undermine the egalitarian system of our elementary schools voting process. I am marching myself to the Principal's office, then to the Super-Intendent's and anyone else I can talk to with influence to GET YOUR ASS FIRED!!"
Then march out of there with your head held high. (Yes, those big words will seem strange coming from a petite little brunette 10 year old in a lavender-lace dress, but it will be all that more shocking and effective. So, memorize and enjoy the feeling.)
Age 14 and _
You will be on the cusp of beginning high school. It seems fun. You will want to go. BUT DON'T. Beg your Mother to send you to a school for the arts, a Fame kind of school where people do leaps on the lunch tables and sing for class credit and are accepting of their awkwardness, not pretending it doesn't exist.
Age 15-18
Just in case, don't sleep with anyone. Sneak out and buy a back massager and use it "down there" - that should curb some cravings until later. Don't get tattoos or new piercings. Trust me on this one.
Age 20-30
Never move to Los Angeles. It is evil and rotten and will devour your soul. If you must flee, go to New York and go to Art School. Study with Uta Hagen before she croaks. Seek out a guy named Justin Theroux and get with him, he should be a proper mate for you.
Read and sew and crochet and make the things that are in your head. Draw them, paint them, make macaroni art from leftovers, if you must. But create all the time. And talk yourself up. If someone is mean to you, or you're on a bad date, just pick up your purse and WALK OUT.
Remember these four things:
1) Relationships & friendships should always be easy. Not hard, not hurtful. Ever.
2) Spend your birthday with your mother.
3) Mean people really do suck. So get away from them A.S.A.P.
4) Trust your instincts. And by that I mean, if it comes into your head: It's true!
|
|
|
|
|
|
