ASSIGNMENTS:
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Robby
Athens, Georgia USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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Advice to Robert Pelfrey, age 16, 1996.
1. Take a picture of that girl before she dies. If you don't, by the time you are out of high school (in two years), you will have trouble remembering the details of her face - the freckles you were obsessed with, the particular turn of her nose that you remember describing as 'like a pixie' but will fail to recall in any visual sense. When you are halfway through college, you will remember her as a blur, a composite of the features you think she possessed. Ten years from now you will know that the image in your head of her face is a composite of other women, other features, other things that were never her.
Advice to Robert Pelfrey, age 18, 1998.
2. Move in with John, but don't try to become friends. He's a dick, and no matter what you do you will never get along. Be comfortable with a distant cohabitation... it's better than all the fighting you two are going to do for the rest of the year if you keep trying to be pals. Besides, he's really into anime. Like really, really into anime.
Advice to Robert Pelfrey, age 21, 2001.
3. Don't take that last shot on your 21st birthday. It's going right down your shirt, and then you'll spend the rest of the night smelling like lemons.
Advice to Robert Pelfrey, age 23, 2003.
4. Captain McDonough is full of shit, and will waste the next eleven months of your life. Go do something you actually love!
Advice to Robert Pelfrey, age 26, 2006.
5. Go ahead and join the Army, just know that within the year you'll be injured, and you'll leave. It's alright: things will be so much better afterwards... but I'm not going to ruin the surprise.
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