Learning To Love You More
HELLO ASSIGNMENTS DISPLAYS LOVE GRANTS REPORTS SELECTIONS OLIVERS BOOK

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Assignment #53
Give advice to yourself in the past.

Kristen Meinzer
Brooklyn, New York USA

REPORTS:

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Advice to Kristen at age 14
1. you are a beautiful girl. everyone tells you you're smart and talented and a good person and that's fine, but i also want you to know that you're pretty. and all those dumb boys in school who only want to talk to you so that you'll introduce them to "your pretty friends" are idiots. and your family members who think you're fat and unattractive are also idiots. you are pretty and someday you'll be in a place where people have more than one paradigm for beauty and you will be considered a real catch and asked out by hundreds of boys and not just ugly boys -- boys who are beautiful and kind and smart too. and you deserve to be with beautiful and kind and smart boys and you should never never never settle for anything less.
2. stay active. after this year, you'll stop playing sports. don't. find other physical activities you enjoy. i promise that doing so will elevate your mood, and it might even prevent you from becoming a full-on anorexic/bulimic later on.
3. dress better. stop buying everything in size xl. you are not a linebacker. i know that oversized shirts are fashionable, but try for a size medium. it will still be oversized on you and won't make you look like such a shapeless scrub.
4. thank nanna for taking you to see grandma ruth one last time. if it weren't for her, you never would have seen grandma before she died. and let yourself cry as much as you want to about losing her (not just the five minutes you'll later give yourself in the basement). your mother's flippancy and step-father's fumblings do not erase your own right to mourn.
5. stop perming your hair. it looks awful.
6. try harder. just because you get straight As without ever trying does not mean you should not try. challenge yourself. force yourself to do things that require practice (like learning how to play an instrument or speaking a foreign language).
7. your step-brother dave will try to kill himself this year and you will be the only person in the house when he tries to do it. do not let your family make you feel guilty about this. it is not your fault, no matter what they say.
8. find someone better to have your first kiss with than marty across the cul-de-sac. he's not cute enough for you. and he's also way too old to be kissing 14 year old girls. and, for that matter, avoid all boys named marty in the future.
9. start wearing sunscreen now. get in the habit. the ozone layer is thinning and you don't want your skin to look like your aunt jeanette's.
10. you know those classes you're in with the kids in the upper grades? don't be so shy. i know those kids seem intimidating and old. but honestly, one or two years isn't that big of a deal. talk to them. being shy only hurts yourself.
11. eric johnson has a huge crush on you. when you go to workcamp this summer, kiss him.
12. be patient with joel runnels and fully accept his friendship. he is an amazing guy. i know you are fixited on nick lenerz right now, on his skateboarding and love of the dead kennedys. but in the end, joel will be the superstar in that group of guys. he will be loyal and write you letters when you move away. and he will grow up to be handsome and work for the UN and do good things for the world and you'll wish that you hadn't dismissed him from your life so easily.
13. your mom is right. high school sucks. and, indeed, these are the worst years of your life. it will get better. i promise you. you can't even imagine how much better it will be.
14. start keeping a journal now. and don't stop writing in it. never stop writing.