ASSIGNMENTS:
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Marta
Fort Collins, Colorado USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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Advice to Marta, age 0
1) Turn upside down like you're supposed to. If you hadn't caused your mother hours of pain and a C-Section, your life might be completely different. Who knows what 4 hours can do?
Advice to Marta, age 7
1) Don't throw that hairbrush at your sister's nose. It will bleed very badly and you will get hurt for doing it.
2) Don't get on the monkey bars. Ever. They will only cause you embarrassment.
3) Take advantage of the fact that no one understands the language you're speaking.
4) Appreciate your mother and how she taught you to read in English. "Are You My Mother?" by Dr. Seuss.
Advice to Marta, age 8
1) Hold on to Elyse and Brianna. They will be your best friends.
2) Appreciate the fact that Ms. Mitchell is your teacher. She is the nicest one you will ever have.
3) Don't listen to Reece Cochran when he tells you you have hairy arms. He won't know how to pronounce "especially" in High School.
Advice to Marta, age 9
1) Hold on tight to Elyse. You will miss her very much.
2) Don't let Rachael DeBolt wedge herself in with you and Elyse. She's fake and you will regret ever having met her. Also, don't steal that heart earring from her house, you will have it for years to come and whenever you see it you will remember her and you will feel like choking someone. And when you eventually throw it out, make sure it hits the garbage can and doesn't hurt your mother's foot.
3) Practice Piano.
Advice for Marta, age 10
1) Tell Ms. Alldredge to fuck off. You will hate her and she will make your year miserable.
2) Don't believe everything you hear in church. But befriend Matt from Sunday school; the two of you will have a nice friendship later on in High School.
3) DON'T LOSE ELYSE!
4) If you lose her anyway, don't let the damage of it curve into your schoolwork or you will end up failing Social Studies and begin being horrible at math.
Advice for Marta, age 11
1) Become best friends with Katy early on, you won't regret it.
2) Don't quit piano. Don't you dare. You will regret it immensely.
3) Basketball is a good outlet for your emotions, keep with it.
4) Don't send Karson Rizley that secret admirer valentine. He will know it was from you and everyone will make fun of you.
Advice to Marta, age 12
1) Throw that red fleece sweater away immediately.
2) Don't be upset about moving-- it will be the greatest year of your life.
3) Don't have a crush on Mr. Witt. That's just silly.
4) Be ready to accept the fact that art is your life. You're not ready for it, but do your best to accept it.
5) Don't ask that question in sex ed. You will feel dumb.
Advice to Marta, age 13
1) Don't wish you hadn't moved, this will be the best year of your life.
2) Realize that Sofia and Irene are the best people in that school and become attached to them immediately, not in the last few months.
3) Don't fall for Edo. You're only 13. You have a long time ahead of you to worry about boyfriends. Don't mistake his chivalry for affection.
4) Do not let that Smashing Pumpkins CD get lost. It will lead you through adolescence and beyond.
5) Do not watch the Exorcist during your last night in Italy. You will develop sleep tremors from it.
6) DonŐt get mad at Micol. ItŐs not her fault.
7) Mrs. Millhouse is a wonderful teacher, learn from her.
8) Don't forget this year. Never, ever forget this year.
Advice to Marta, age 14
1) Do not befriend Rachel Kirk I repeat. Do not befriend Rachel Kirk. She will ruin your year and treat you badly.
2) Do not conform. Do not conform. Do not conform. Do not pretend you're stupid; do not wear skin-tight jeans, belly baring shirts, and Vans just to fit in. Do not conform.
3) Do not aim your bottle rocket towards the school.
4) DO NOT LET YOUR "FRIENDS" TRY TO CONVERT YOU TO THEIR RELIGION. There is no God and you know it.
Advice to Marta, age 15
1) Do not make yourself like Mitch Keller There is no point to this relationship anyway.
2) Do not let your friends peer-pressure you into kissing him at that Christmas party.
3) Do not ask Alyssa which colored pencil is blue and which one is green just because you're partially colorblind. You will end up with blue seaweed and green water.
4) Put more interest into your photography class. The rules really do help make a better picture, you know. Learn them.
5) Don't take Annette Penny for granted. She will change your life.
Advice to Marta, age 16
1) Do not bother befriending Brittney Spieker. She will just disappoint you with her homophobic, racist, close-minded Jesus-freak views.
2) Thank you for not conforming. Thank you for going through the punk phase and making a name for yourself.
3) Be glad you have Natalie. She will introduce you to some of the best friends you'll ever have along with being one herself.
4) Try hard at math. You are not stupid. With a little more time and motivation, you may be able to pass this year.
5) Do not fall for certain boys who are too old for you and really are just pretty stupid, never mind their taste in music.
6) Do not lose Annette Penny.
7) Do not allow yourself to get too attached to David. He will forget about you when he's in college and it will break your heart.
8) Do not bother with Katie Stevens. She will never have been a real friend to you and will spend two years stabbing you in the back and upstaging you for the sheer purpose of proving seniority. She is a fake person and isn't worth your time.
Advice to Marta, age 17
1) Do not sneak out to help Mike Jenner. He will not kill himself that night and the pain you go through for trying to sneaking out isn't worth it.
2) Do not expect all your college friends to still find you important.
3) Be ready to meet Nick, he will change your life.
4) Do not bother befriending Ellie. While you may admire and love her in the beginning, you will see how fake she is and how juvenile she really acts.
5) Do not wait four months before hooking up with Nick. The two of you deserve better than four wasted months.
6) Be happy you've finally decided what your life will revolve around. Art. Stick with that forever.
7) Be careful who you share your music with.
8) Thank Anne for being such a wonderful teacher.
9) Take the AP Psych exam.
10) Don't give up on you & Nick. You have something real. You'll have your ups-and-downs but don't lose him, whatever you do.
11) Be thankful for Annette. She's special.
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