ASSIGNMENTS:
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James Mansfield
London, UK
Email James
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REPORTS:
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Advice to James, aged 16-22
1. Get a hair cut - you will only start to really enjoy yourself once you've started to feel good about yourself. Ignore your Mum when she says that you shouldn't. You don't want to look "sweet."
2. Don't go to uni, and especially don't go to keep your Dad happy. It won't work out and you'll just get in debt.
3. You know that job you've always thought about doing, but never had the guts or self confidence to? Do it, do it now. You'll love it and it'll bring the confidence and guts you thought you didn't have.
4. Don't quit on playing in bands and gigging. Keep playing music. If you think you're trying hard now, you're not, try harder. If not I promise you will regret it for the rest of your life, and it gets much harder to find the time and the people to play with as you get older.
5. When you're about 21 you will hear your Mum and your Stepdad having a huge argument and him saying unforgivable things about your Mum and your siblings. You are going to go down and have it out with him, and you are going to storm out, then come back and comfort your siblings. Don't feel reluctant or nervous, I'm proud of you to this day - it took guts and was the right thing to do, and it was a turning point in the way you see yourself.
6. When your Dad comes to pick you and your siblings up Christmas evening one time, go with them. Don't go out drinking with your mates, it won't be as good as last time. Don't argue with your dad at the top of your voice. Don't tell your sister's boyfriend to fuck off. Everybody including your Mum and your Dad will be genuinely upset by it. It is something that you will feel ashamed about for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter who was wrong. You will reopen the divide that took years to heal.
7. Your Dad loves you, he is proud of you. He's just crap at showing it. It won't affect you once you find something you truly enjoy.
8. Your Mum will say something one day that is so true: "It's not the things you do in life you regret, it's the things you don't do." Live by it.
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