ASSIGNMENTS:
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Joe
Washington, D.C. USA
Email Joe
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REPORTS:
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Advise to Joe at the age of 16
1) Get to know the freaky people who live in your hometown; the ones you don t even know exist. There are plenty. That guy who DJs the mixed-bag-esque show on your local NPR affiliate. The crackpot who turned his living room into The Little Bijou and shows foreign movies with subtitles you ve never heard of a single one, but in about ten years you ll love them more than Ghostbusters. There are plenty more people like these two. Open your eyes and don t be so defeatist.
2) Break up with your girlfriend. You know who I m talking about. Do it now. She s terrible. She keeps you from your friends, a group of people she doesn t like because she s oddly jealous of them, and she asks far too much of the relationship; you re teenagers for Christ s sake. And don t worry about it being true love. It s not. You break up with her after you leave for college and never see her again. Don t feel bad. Trust me: it s not worth it. Oh, and one more thing: The sex is terrible. Absolutely appalling. You don t know that yet, but you will soon.
3) Pay closer attention in math, especially basic algebra and geometry. You ll thank me 12 years from now when you re studying for the GREs.
4) That being said, don t worry so much about what your teachers think of you. Actually, you should start viewing them with contempt. The majority of them do their job poorly and have a limited world view and posses misplaced priorities. You will exceed them in almost every way by the time you turn 25. (But don t forget, there are a few exceptions. Ask for their advice more. Hell, ask for it once.)
5) Rebel more. Smoke pot. Get drunk. Don t be so responsible. It ll make taking chances in life easier if you start now.
6) Seek out better music. Yes, REM is good, but there s a ton of bands playing right now that you don t know about. There are a ton of bands that have already broken up that you don t know about.
7) Use a dictionary to look up every word you read that you don t know the meaning of. Write it down on a 3 x 5 index card. Use it three times a day. Make it yours.
8) Above all, and this is something that goes along with almost everything above, move beyond your worldview. There s more to life than what TV and the radio give you, than what s popular. Try to see beyond your likes, experiment with different books, different music, and different movies. The world has so much to offer and you re it. Granted, that s partly the fault of where you re from, but that doesn t mean you can t try a little hard. Seek things out a little more actively. You ll be glad you did.
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