ASSIGNMENTS:
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Faith
Portland, Oregon USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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Advice to Faith at age 17 (from the age of 29):
1. It turns out you' re not gay, so don' t waste your time agonizing over whether or not you' re attracted to women.
2. John has been cheating on you since the day he asked you out. He hasn' t been ÒtalkingÓ to that other girl, he' s been fucking her. Don' t let him talk you into Òstill being friends.Ó Don' t go to prom with him. Dump his ass and don' t look back. You' ll get over him quicker than you think and then wonder why you wasted so much time thinking you were in love with him.
3. You aren' t in love with Ken, and that isn' t going to change if you try dating him. Follow your instincts and stick with just being friends, and ignore whatever passing jealousy you have when he dates someone else. You aren' t jealous because you' re actually in love with him, you' re jealous because you' re lonely and just got dumped by someone else. Trust me: you aren' t in love with him.
4. Amber is going to try to steal the heart of every guy you date, starting with John. I don' t know why, but she will. She' s got some issues and I would keep her at arm' s length. You' ll fall out of touch after high school anyway and the farther away you get, the more you' ll realize that she was not a very good friend.
5. Don' t confide to that one girl that your friend Jamie is getting on your nerves. That girl is going to tell everyone what you said and it' s going to blow up into a big scandal and Jamie is never going to forgive you.
6. You' re wasting a lot of energy agonizing over boys and whether or not they like you and whether or not you like them. You know what? It doesn' t matter much either way. Focus your energy on playing the trumpet, acting in plays, and writing that satirical religious handbook. These are things that will stay in your memory and that you' ll remember fondly. Not the assholes you have crushes on in jazz band.
7. Don' t listen to any of Ms. Raffle-Haughn' s advice, she' s nice but she' s a terrible guidance counselor. And this is important: do not let her mail your college application essay to the University of Chicago. She will forget to mail it, and they will call three months later saying you' re waitlisted because they received everything except your essay. Calmly reach for the sheet of paper, take it back from her, type it up and mail it yourself.
8. Get to know Mrs. G. better. She seems scary, but she' s the smartest teacher at that school, and later you' ll realize she' s not as scary as you thought. She' s just tough. You could use her advice. Go to her and ask for it. Don' t talk yourself out of learning from her just because she intimidates you.
9. Get some sleep. Mom is right, a lot of your depression is really just sleep deprivation. And she' s right about exercising, it will make you feel better.
10. Pop-tarts and doritos are not going to get you through the day. You' ll save yourself a lot of angst if you just start eating better, and more often.
11. Learn to play guitar. Ask Mom to teach you some chords. While you' re at it, get her to teach you to sing. She' s actually really talented, and you' ll come to understand this later. While you' re still at home, learn from her. Don' t just say you WANT to learn guitar. Pick it up and learn it.
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