ASSIGNMENTS:
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Demi
New York, New York USA
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REPORTS:
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Advice to Myself at Age 17
1. You have a little brother. You just don't know it yet. You won't find out until he's 16 and you're 22. Try not to get too angry with your family for keeping him from you. They didn't know what else to do. They still don't. Try not to hold his mother against him. Don't be too hard on him - he's had it rough and he's really a good kid.
2. Break up with your boyfriend, and throw away the combat boots. Do both right now, and don't look back. Toss in the black band t-shirts for good measure. Someday you'll like colors and men without issues. I'm not lying.
3. There are two Mikes you need to talk to while you still can.
4. Your Mustang is possessed. Don't keep it, and don't ask for the Mazda. Ask Dad if he'll trade it in for a Jeep.
5. Read The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged now. Do not wait until you're 23. The sooner that light bulb goes off in your head, the better.
6. Trust yourself. Stop asking others what to do. You're the only one who knows what you need because the people you're asking for advice have never done the things you want to do. Think about it. It's common sense.
7. Do not go to Orlando.
8. Don't bother with psych - you won't end up doing it anyway. Go to film school. Don't sweat it if your grades aren't on par - you'll get in. And your grades will be much better later once you stop acting like an ass.
9. Stop skipping school unless it's to go to England for Jamie and Sarah's wedding. Make more of an effort to go to class, but make an exception for Europe or you'll put it off until you finally make plans to go to Italy when you're 27. Make plans with Mom to go visit Eve.
10. Listen to Grandpa's silly Vaudevillian jokes. You'll miss them.
11. Do not give unsolicited advice. Eventually you will realize that you should be helpful and attempt to be accepting of others, but you should do it from a distance. If you allow people to drag you down with them, they will. Listen to your mother more. She's right about people whether you want to believe her or not. Someday it will click and you will see what she sees, and the things she says will make perfect sense. You can't save the world, and it's not your job anyway. However, right now, you should be nicer to people. You're such a bitch lately. Make an attempt to cultivate a little kindness. Don't tease people so much. You're playing, but they are hurt by it.
12. Listen to your mother less. Greater risk can sometimes mean greater return. Fight her on New York (both times, if you happen to move back home), and fight her on California. California isn't scary. It's beautiful. You will have a love/hate relationship with New York, but it doesn't matter because NYC is much better for you than home even if the people aren't as warm. Don't be afraid if you don't know anyone wherever it is you do go, just go ahead and do it. You'll meet people when you get there. Once you move away, stay away, but visit often. You'll be much happier. Don't go home just because you think other people need you there. It's not what's best for you. While you're at it, tell Mom to switch companies. She'll be a lot happier somewhere else.
13. Call Dad out on it. It's hard to believe, but the day you pitch a fit about it, he'll stop. Watch what his doctor prescribes and don't let him take anything that makes him lose his balance or he might narrowly avoid a car accident. Stop threatening to pull out his gray hairs - they're probably there because of you.
14. You have nightmares because you're unhappy. Plain and simple. Reexamine your life and make the necessary changes, and they will go away. Stop holing up inside - make it a point to leave the house/apartment at least once a day, every day. Exercise, diet, avoid MSG, drink less (you get sick and you make an ass out of yourself), and quit smoking. And make your family quit too before Gram gets emphysema. She will.
15. Spend more time with your family, especially your baby cousins. Once they get to be your age, you'll treasure their friendship.
16. People do not belong on a pedestal. Do not obsess over boys and break-ups. Do not try to change people. They might tell you they want what you want, but they don't - it's just not meant to be. Stop wallowing. Thinking too much will only make you sad. Get over it. If you need closure, take it. Don't wait. Prolonging the inevitable will only make things worse. Long distance sucks. And for Christ sake, don't date anyone in undergrad.
17. Conspire to hide Shannen's keys. Do not let her drive back to West Palm without sleeping or Julie and Rob will die when her car flips, Shannen will blame herself, and she will commit suicide.
18. You're not invincible. You're not immortal. You need to be more responsible. Nothing good can come of what you're doing to yourself. Follow your intuition. Every time you second-guess yourself, you get into trouble.
19. You know that guy who always practices clarinet in the hallway by the gym? No? Go take a look. Be sure to remember him. Look him up in a few years. He might seem too preppy for you right now, but trust me - he's going to be the best thing that ever happened to you.
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