ASSIGNMENTS:
|
|
CBO
Los Angeles, California USA
|
|
REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
|
|
Advice to Chris at Age 18
A. "There's no reason for you to get a nose job. You don't look Middle Eastern. Your sister is just mean. Mean I say."
B. "Stop giving people the finger when they pass you on the freeway. They're not trying to say something when they pass you. There is no secret language of cars."
C. "Just because you can't get an erection it doesn't mean that you have to force yourself to cry and tell the girl underneath you that the reason you're limp is because you love her and how much you love her is causing you to think that maybe it's not such a good idea to have sex because you feel so strongly about her and she's special and that's why you can't get it up and that's why you're crying."
D. "Your hair looks the same whether or not you have it relaxed."
E. "Please don't throw that chinese star until you know for sure that no is about to open the door you're going to throw it at."
F. "The next time your girlfriend jumps into the arms of a bodybuilder and gives him a slow, wet kiss (complete with tongue-flicking) do something, like clear your throat, just to let her know that you're right there, because sometimes people forget."
G. "If you move to New York City, stay there, no matter what happens, even if someone tries to push you in front of a train."
H. "When you think something and you like what it is that you have thought, tell someone immediately, because sooner or later someone is going to have the same thought as you and when they do it will no longer be yours."
I. "It's okay if you want to eat a couple of fresh strawberry donuts with whip cream and a large pastrami sandwich, but not within ten minutes of each other, and not twice a week for a year and a half."
|
|
|
|
|
|
