ASSIGNMENTS:
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Laura Breeden
Memphis, Tennessee USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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Advice to Laura at age 5:
-Ask someone how to skip, so your teacher won't think you're autistic
Advice to Laura at age 6:
-Don't let Kassie's manipulation screw with your mind. Don't let her cheat off of your papers.
-Don't let Kassie and Chelsea blame you for things you didn't do.
-Tell your parents about the babysitter putting you in time out in the closet.
-Remember to bring home the bear-made-into-what-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up project. It's under your desk. And it's cute.
Advice to Laura at age 8:
-Don't let Amanda and Erin's teasing about being smart bother you. It's just plain stupid to fake bad grades to make them like you.
Advice to Laura at age 9:
-Don't try to dress like the girls on Clueless.
-Stay in touch with Courtney.
Advice to Laura at age 12:
-Realize that Mr. Tucker is worried about you and wants to help.
Advice to Laura at age 13:
-Tell off Coach Jayjock. Your gym grade doesn't matter, and you'll feel better after yelling at him for being an evil git.
Advice to Laura at age 14:
-Realize sooner that your and Jill's friendship is doomed to fail.
-Spot Jill's eating disorder sooner.
Advice to Laura at age 16:
-Realize that you are jealous of Jill's new relationship and don't really have a crush on her.
-Don't fall for David's crap. Don't mess around with him. It won't end well.
-Don't let Jill introduce you to Don. It is fundamentally stupid to meet a stranger for the purpose of sex.
-Don't get attached to Sean.
-Tell Victoria off for breaking your confidence without at least warning you that when you got home the shit would hit the fan.
Advice to Laura at age 17:
-Don't ask Ben out. You don't like him. Ask his brother out instead.
-If you asked him anyway, end it after the first date, when you realize you have absolutely no attraction to him, rather than staying with him for a year and a half.
-Don't answer the phone on Dec. 18th.
-Apply to other schools, not just the cheap, safe choice.
Advice to Laura at age 18:
-Let go of the friendship with Jill. Don't let it run your life.
-Don't join those sites and meet those guys.
-Don't wait until the last minute to do your projects.
-Don't go to a public park after hours- you will get a court summons. And especially don't go with him.
-Don't let Ryan's charm pull you in.
Advice to Laura at age 19:
-Put all of this advice to use for the future.
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