ASSIGNMENTS:
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Bobby
Iowa City, Iowa USA
Email Bobby
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REPORTS:
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Advice to Bobby age 3
1. eventually your lazy eye will become a problem. a little problem. but a problem nonetheless. obey your mother when she tries to get you to wear an eye patch. eventually she will give up trying and your lazy eye will develop and stay lazy forever. do it now while it still has time to heal.
2. seriously. there's nothing wrong with vegetables. you are foolish for thinking so.
3. you probably shouldn't throw rocks at your sister katie. she won't be traumatized, but it still isn't very nice.
4. don't threaten your cousin BJ with a knife. Even if you have no intention of using the knife, knives are scary and people take them seriously. His mother will yell at you and you will cry.
5. i mean it about the vegetables. and all other food for that matter. you will grow up with the idea that it is fine for you to only eat the same your whole life, the diet of a four year old, and while it is ok, it really isn't ok.
6. try to pay attention in school. it will pay off.
7. switch to boxers sooner.
8. FLOSS.
9. Eat better.
10. 8 and 9 might have something to do with one another.
11. Try harder in math. Don't waste your time.
12. You will leave a metal spoon in a soup pan for too long when you are distracted. it will get hot enough to give you a relatively painful burn. your sister katie will touch the spoon and fall to the ground out of surprise and you, wondering if it really is that hot, will touch it too. you also will fall to the ground out of surprise. don't touch the spoon. you shouldn't have been surprised.
13. don't nurture your crush on your friend kelli when you are fifteen. the only thing that will come from it are months of awkwardness and depression.
14. don't get so worked up about your first girlfriend. she's nothing to write home about.
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