Learning To Love You More
HELLO ASSIGNMENTS DISPLAYS LOVE GRANTS REPORTS SELECTIONS OLIVERS BOOK

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Assignment #53
Give advice to yourself in the past.

Bianca
Pomona, California USA

REPORTS:

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Advice to Bianca, aged 19 and 20
1. Do not waste your time getting drunk with your friends in college. You were so excited when you came to college because high school was such a load of shit and in college you were finally going to LEARN. Do not waste your time or your parents' money.
2. When you are studying abroad, spend more time doing fun stuff and traveling, and less time making out.
3. The first time you break up with W., stay broken up. It's going to be hard, because he's so cute, but if you don't stay broken up now, you'll have to break up with him again in two years and then you'll really feel like a jerk.
4. Please go to the gym more.
5. Don't try so hard to make people like you.
6. Stop quitting when things are hard. When you're 21 years old and you won't have any fucking hobbies because everything was too hard and so you gave it up.
7. Read more. Also, read some Plato and Edith Hamilton's Mythology. That way, when you are in your final year of college and you are taking the hardest, most abstract class ever, the professor will not think you are dumb because you never read The Republic.
8. Avoid James at all costs.
9. Get more sleep.
10. Do not lie to your parents. They'll ALWAYS find out anyway and your dad will be hurt that you didn't tell him. Besides, you're a fucking adult.
11. Stand up for yourself.
12. Don't cut your hair with sewing scissors. I predict that the result will be supremely unflattering.
13. Do not kiss David. It will piss off your roommate and you'll feel like a tramp.