ASSIGNMENTS:
|
|
Britt Ashley
Seattle, Washington USA
Email Britt
|
|
REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
|
|
Advice to Britt Ashley ages 20-23 RE: Your liver, your hair and your heart
1. September 1997: Lady, stay on the wagon. Trust your own good instincts and save yourself 8 years of blackouts, breakdowns, near misses, awkward apologies, a general state of disconnectedness and some really bad sex.
2. May 1998: An older man you are seeing will ask you if you think he's a misogynist. The answer is yes.
3. June 1998: Make sure your roomate doesn't lock the front door after she leaves for work. Amy has snuck away from her boyfriend for the afternoon and is on her way over to bring you a birthday present. I bet it was a good present, worth the trouble she was risking to see you.
3. August 1998: Don't date Willie. You will end up using him to hide from yourself. He is strictly friend material and you are very, very gay. Like Liberace gay. Deal with it.
4. June 2000: Leave town. Your relationship is over and continuing to live with your now ex-girlfriend will only lead you into a series of panic attacks, uneccesary fights, confusing not quite make up sex and the onset of Lesbian Heartbreak Hair. If you must stick around at least find a subletter.
5. July 2000: For the love of god Britt Ashley listen to me when I tell you that heartbreak and hair bleach do not mix. Put that shit down and walk slowly and calmly into the rest of your life.
|
|
|
|
|
|
