ASSIGNMENTS:
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Joshua Aaron
Los Angeles, California USA
Email Joshua
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REPORTS:
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Advice to Joshua Aaron at 13
1) Shyness is going to be the curse of your life. That furrowed brow you've crafted to keep people at bay doesn't fool anybody. You will never be the life of the party but practice talking to strangers. It will be rough at first, with too many pauses, but it will be the most important thing you ever do for yourself.
Family
2) Don't be so angry with your mom. She is tough on you because she has to be and you really do deserve it most of the time.
3) Your dad is going to let you down. You'll get a call from him that will change everything in your life. Don't go into shock, your family will need you. You will still love him and will still watch yourself become him.
4) Don't grow apart from your sister when you leave for college. She is going to get married and start having kids before you know it.
5) Don't torture your middle brother so much. He will do the same to your baby brother. Years, years, years later your mom will read you a poem he wrote about you for school and you'll feel terrible about how you treated him.
6) You will get drunk one night with your baby brother after he gets out of boot camp. You'll find out you have alot more in common than you think, but you'll only be honest with each other when you're both drunk. Party with him and his buddies before they ship out. Plan ahead and invite girls, because they will all suck at bringing them.
Friends
7) Your family has moved around alot during your life and will continue too. Don't start to enjoy burning bridges every couple years.
8) When you drink in Tijuana, don't let Butch wander off on his own. He won't make it back to the states for a few days and will be in bad shape when he does.
9) When you leave San Diego, tell everybody why. Don't pack up and drive off.
10) When Nina sleeps over the first night, she isn't interested in sleeping. Even if you wind up friends, don't ditch her when you get a girlfriend. She will be the most reliable person in your life outside your family.
11) John is going to disappear one night after you move in to the apartment. He'll stick you with two months rent.
12) G will ask you to go to Burning Man out of the blue. Tie the couch you are going to throw away to the top of his motorhome, you'll be gone four times longer than you think but it will be the best trip you ever go on. When you are at the festival don't be afraid to start dancing at night, when you are on the houseboat keep trying to learn to jump the wakeboard, when you are in Yosemite take a flashlight when you go hiking. Save the couch when you return home, it deserves better than to wind up on the curb.
School
13) Don't pretend you are sick to get out of finishing school projects. You will get carried away with this.
14) Don't gang up and make fun of that guy before 5th period during your junior year of HS. Remember those older kids that would take your backpack on the way home in first grade?
15) Don't drop out of college. Don't lie to your family about it if you do.
Sex
16) When you're out playing pool with your two guy friends and pick-up two girls, don't shrug it off and go home, the girls want you to come back and party also.
17) When the girl that works at Wherehouse Music turns you down to see a movie, go back in a week and ask again. You'll run into her in a year and she remembers you. She moves out of town that night and you'll never see her again.
18) When that girl walks up to you at the coffee shop show, keep talking to her and when she asks you to dance say yes.
19) When you see that beautiful girl with the prefect dreads dancing at the club, talk to her. You will think about her for a long time.
20) The nights you spend eating pizza and in bed with Olivia will be some of your favorite memories. Watch out for the springs in her old mattress. Don't ignore her calls when you meet somebody else.
Drugs
21) You're going to become an alcoholic. It will sneak up on you and you'll be waking up at 5AM, drinking to sleep another few hours and reading about liver damage on Yahoo. Don't let it run your life. When that voice in your brain starts rationalizing why you should drive to the store, laugh at it. The first night of quitting is the hardest, then it is pretty easy.
22) Try smoking pot. When you start having headaches that make you vomit and go blind, they are migraines. You'll find out that pot cures them faster than the knockout drugs you'll get prescribed.
23) Try E with somebody you love and trust. You'll be much more honest on it than you expect. Try to dance in a more relaxing manner when you use it in public.
24) You will enjoy mushrooms but don't try to do your laundry while high on them.
25) Try LSD with your brother before he ships out for Iraq, but don't call Sarah in the morning when you can't fall asleep.
Rock & Roll
26) Party when you are young. Party hard then, because otherwise you are going to get started late in life and will not outgrow that phase always trying to make up for lost time.
27) Don't learn piano by ear just because you can. Learn to sight read. Don't buy that $40 guitar from the pawnshop with rusty strings. The neck is bent and you'll tear your fingers to shreds teaching yourself on it.
28) Start a band when you are young. You may never be a great singer but people will take you less seriously when you try to start one when you're older.
Love
29) I'm not going to ask you to take a different path on this one, but when you start liking Kim because of her haircut, know that despite having a great time in high school, fooling around alot and being in love, she isn't going to have sex with you ever. Even when you fly out to stay in her dorm in Rhode Island freshman year. In fact you'll suspect she already likes another guy there. And it's very cold. Her twin sister will become a cheerleader and you'll hear she beds down with the first guy she likes in college. Keep that in mind when you are playfully wrestling with her that one night.
30) You're going to meet Sarah at the wrong time in your life. She'll be a rebound for you, she'll know it and you will deny it. You will push her away without knowing why. She will be the person who knows you the best and who you will love the deepest. Don't press her to sleep with you so quickly or ask her to move out so soon. Listen to her and really try to help her. She has been through alot and you will put her through more.
31) This last one maybe you shouldn't read. In fact I'd suggest you skip it because I think you should let it happen as it did. But when you first get your heart broken, take this out and read it over and over. Stop now unless that just happened. Laura is going to tear your heart to bits. Again and again. She will be the great passion of your life but will be the great trauma too. You will write alot of silly wounded songs for years. You will learn, but won't grow up at all during the relationship. After it is over, when she finds out you are dating she will get undressed in front of you at her apartment. Walking away will be the first time you start feeling healed. So if you just found out she slept with her ex-boyfriend again, call it off now. Anyways you'll find out a long time later that on the night you met, she was actually there to meet your little brother. I think it was blow to his self esteem that you two hooked up instead and don't think he ever forgives you, though I also do not think he knows you found out.
32) I know this list is full of alot of do nots. Despite the mistakes, you will forget the pains before you forget the pleasures. The things you will regret the most will be the things you did not try and the things you did not put all of your efforts into.
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