ASSIGNMENTS:
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b&t
Rochester, New York USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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ME: Hello?
JHC: Hey is this Brian?
ME: Yes. Who is this?
JHC: It's the Lord.
ME: Delores? Delores who?
JHC: No, the Lord, as in Jesus.
ME: Oh. Hey, how's it going?
JHC: I'm doing pretty good. Keeping busy, you know.
ME: Oh sure, I can imagine. What exactly is it you're up to these days? I haven't heard from you in awhile.
JHC: Oh well, I don't want to bore you. Plus I was calling for a favor...
ME: I could have guessed. Why is it whenever you call it's because someone's going to die or you need help with some crazy adventure?
JHC: Oh, you know. Stop busting my balls. Are you going to help me or not?
ME: Depends. A.) what do you need me to do and B.) what's in it for me?
JHC: Ok. There are these diamonds...
ME: Diamonds?
JHC: Hold on just listen. I've already checked it out and there is like no risk.
ME: What are you talking about? Stealing diamonds?
JHC: You don't understand. It's really expensive being the Lord.
ME: Yeah but can't you do anything? And don't you think stealing is wrong?
JHC: Listen, I don't need a lecture from you. Remember your first job?
ME: Ok ok you don't have to bring that up. I was just a teenager. You're god. And what are you going to do with diamonds anyway?
JHC: You leave that up to me. I'll make sure everything goes smoothly and that you're not caught and I'll cut you in for thirty percent.
ME: Thirty percent? Of what? How much are we talking about?
JHC: Let me put it to you this way: a lot.
ME: I don't know...
JHC: I'll be your best friend.
ME: You know I don't have any experience with jewel heists.
JHC: Don't go turning this into a Woody Allen movie. It's straight forward. No risk.
ME: Can I call you back? I need to think about it.
JHC: Don't bother. I already know you're going to say "Yes."
ME: Well than why did you bother asking?
JHC: Formality. And to let you know what needs to be done. I'll get in touch. I don't think we should have said so much over the phone. I'll meet you at our usual spot.
ME: I guess.
JHC: Bye.
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