ASSIGNMENTS:
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Sarah Warren
Olympia, Washington USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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Go ahead and harvest my organs for someone else to use. Priority goes to those who need them to sustain life, though I probably wouldn't bother with the liver. But I would also not be opposed to my earthly remains being used for science, centerpieces, or whatnot.
I would be really psyched if my friends would construct me a funeral pyre. This is my dream. It should be adorned with lots of glitter, feathers, sequins, thin metal hearts, plastic dinosaurs, candy skulls etc. I would really like to be sent out to sea on this construction, but since that would probably bring about some legal ramifications for my nearest and dearest, I'll settle for an open field, or a clearing in the forest, or the desert. More specifics later.
In preparation for this event, I would like to be dressed and accessorized (gold please!) by Frank. I think I want to wear my white dress. Jenny can do my hair and make-up.
I want to be carried out to my funeral pyre by the following people: Saira, Demi, Sarah, Tara, my little brother if he has not died in a car crash, and Frank. I want the song "Everyday" by Buddy Holly to be playing at this time.
I want the funeral booklet to include excerpts from diaries, journals, blogs, transcripts of drunk dials, poloaroids, etc. Like a zine. An appropriate title would be: "To Thine Own Self Be True"
I think if it would be great if someone could get some 40oz's of Steel Reserve with custom labels with my birth and death printed on them, as well as a picture of me throwing up the shocker. Like party favors.
Put on some Mariah Carey in the background. I welcome all forms of tribute at this time. Interpretive dance, haiku, personal anecdotes, memories. If we hooked up, you should hold up a rating sign with a number of 1-10. Like figure skating.
If my mom is there, tell her I was strong because of her.
Then I would like someone to pick up a guitar and lead everyone present in the song "With Arms Outstretched" by Rilo Kiley.
At this point I would like "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum to come on. At the climax, I would like the four corners of my funeral pyre to be ignited in really spectacular flames. Maybe throw in some sparklers. Fireworks even.
When I have been properly extinguished, someone should gather up my ashes. I would like them to be divided for two purposes.
After this incineration, everyone should adjourn to my place of residence. Someone should make some fondue, as melted cheese was one of my greatest joys in life. I would like a small portion of my ashes to be mixed into the fondue. Feel free to peruse my possessions and take what you will. I would like my books to stay together as a collection, which should be readily accessible to the public in some kind library.
The rest of my ashes should be combined into a spliff, which anyone who has ever been among my best friends should take to the nude beach in San Diego and smoke me. Then these friends should strap themselves into hangliders and take off over the ocean, at which point they can sprinkle my ashes into the sea.
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