Learning To Love You More
HELLO ASSIGNMENTS DISPLAYS LOVE GRANTS REPORTS SELECTIONS OLIVERS BOOK

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Assignment #51
Describe what to do with your body when you die.

Catherine
Dundee, Angus SCOTLAND

REPORTS:

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I want to be cremated. My Catholic family will love that. The thing is, for being as un-religious as I am, I have a warped quasi Catholic motivation for wanting this: I feel like getting lowered into the ground is symbolic of the ground splitting open and us all falling into hell or something. I have terrible nightmares about that. Anyway, it's really just the funeral songs and the disposing of ashes I've thought about. I'm thinking Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" or maybe that Pina Colada song. I'm not sure. But the ashes. The original idea was having a cliched dark comedy ceremony, with everyone congregated on the top of a windy clifftop for the scattering of me. And the wind has to be blowing onto the beloved family and friends. That idea makes me laugh. But only because I don't care about my ashes. If I'm dead I'll have bigger things to worry about than dust.
The newest one is being made into a firework. I heard you can do that. The only sad thing is that I'd be too long dead to appreciate it. Maybe if I am terminally ill and going to die any day I can request that I am strapped to a giant firework and shot into the sky whilst I'm still alive. That makes more sense although I'm not sure how feasible it'd really be.
This is all hypothetical anyway. I am young and indestructible.