ASSIGNMENTS:
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Laura Lark
Houston, Texas USA
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REPORTS:
PREVIOUS NEXT
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My argument with the person with a sense of entitlement the size of Utah:
Me: I just wanted to say that I was very tired the other night and I didn't know that you wanted me to wait for you to go into the party.
Her: Well, you just totally dissed me, Laura. I mean, you just completely disrespected me. I don't even think you really like me. That's it. You don't even like me as a friend, because you don't act like one.
Me: Whoa, wait a second! I'd just gotten out of a five hour meeting. I didn't want to go to the party at all, and I felt bad about leaving my dog at home all that time because she's lonely since the other one died. So I'm walking this huge dog into a party, one that I had to wrestle to get into the car, and all I wanted to do was just show up, give the guy this card I made, then leave, and then my dog takes this gigantic dump on the sidewalk, and I have nothing to clean it up with, and my pet peeve is people who don't clean up their dog poo, and-
Her: It's all about excuses with you, Laura-
Me: What do you want me to say? That I saw you and consciously decided not to wait for you while you parked so we could walk into the party together? Why are you making such a big deal about this, anyway? What difference does it make if we walk in together if we're going to the same damned party? Besides, I told you I was totally preoccupied-
Her: You are so all about excuses, Laura, and I am so sick of it! I know that you are just jealous of me and that you don't like me-
Me: I really don't understand what's going on here.
Her: You are just jealous of me, Laura, and you are pathetic. And you don't even really like me because you are jealous of me. If I had been anybody else, you would have waited for me to park and walk in together.
Me: Really, you don't understand. I wouldn't have waited for anybody.
Her: Yes, yes you would have. If I were one of your real friends, you would have stopped and-
Me: Maybe you don't understand me-my life was insane on Friday, and my dog's hysterical and peeing all over everything, and I swear to God that if Jesus H. Christ himself had dismounted the cross, I wouldn't have stopped, so-
Her: I really have to go, Laura. I don't have time for this.
Me: Okay. Bye.
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